


Nobody expects the lesbian mathematician!

by sapphictitious



Category: Fairy Tales & Related Fandoms, Religion & Lore - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: F/F, Folklore, Lesbian Character, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-07 02:00:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 427
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26029108
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sapphictitious/pseuds/sapphictitious
Summary: Once upon a time on Twelfth Night...
Relationships: Original Female Character(s)/Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 1





	Nobody expects the lesbian mathematician!

Once upon a time on Twelfth Night, a certain band of lesbians, cold-cheeked and merry, sought to play a game of hide-and-seek in the winter's snow. They were named for each month, and cries of "I see January!" and "August, we've caught you!" echoed among the trees near their home.

After a time their fingers began to itch with frost, and they gathered together to return to a warm hearth and their improbably large and cosy bed.

May said, "We should count ourselves to check that none of us have been lost in the forest."

"Rubbish!" cried December. "All twelve of us went in, and twelve came out, as you see."

But May stubbornly insisted, and one by one they numbered their fellows except themselves. Each came back with eleven!

"But who could we have left behind?" said April, her eyes watering in the cold. February, who was rather shorter than the other lesbians, raised her hand to show that she had not become lost in the woods.

They searched and searched in vain until they were huffing and puffing and frozen through, and still they couldn't find the missing twelfth lesbian!

Just then, a handsome woman came riding by and, observing the chilly group, called to them: "What perils do you face this night to still be abroad in the forest?"

March, the boldest, replied: "We have lost one of our number, and we cannot find her! For twelve of us hid among the trees but only eleven came out."

The woman counted the distraught band and tapped her whip to her smiling lips thoughtfully.

"What would you give me, if I could find your missing lass?"

"Anything!" they cried.

"I shall steal a kiss from each of you, then," the handsome woman proclaimed.

She proceeded to do just that, and each lesbian shivered deliciously as her warm, laughing mouth pressed against their own.

A rosy blush at the caress had not left the last lesbian, September's, cheeks before there came a whistling sound and the thwap of a whip against October's buttocks.

"Oh!" she cried, and the handsome woman bade them count each moan as she whipped every lesbian in turn.

"Mm!" said November.

"Ah!" panted June.

July merely squeaked.

"Twelve pretty moans," the handsome woman said smugly when she was through, and the lesbians rejoiced that their missing companion had been found.

They insisted she stable her horse, warm herself by their fire, and share their improbably large and cosy bed that night.

"Thirteen," they said, "is much the same as twelve, after all."

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by ["The Twelve Men of Gotham"](https://www.pitt.edu/~dash/type1287.html).
> 
> Written for ["100 words of lesbian math"](https://fail-fandomanon.dreamwidth.org/444353.html?thread=2647402945#cmt2647402945).
> 
> My apologies for the somewhat misleading title. I'm an accountant: arithmetic is the most advanced maths you'll get from me.


End file.
